Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Is a Little Whine OK?

  "36Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, 'Sit here while I go and pray over there.'37And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. 38Then He said to them, 'My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.'
   39He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, 'O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.'”  Matthew 26:36-39 NKJV

The other day I was just feeling 'blah'--not good, not bad, just a little irritable, a little tired of the emotional games that I felt that were coming at me all at once--just 'blah'.

I kept denying it. Ignoring it. Pushing it to the side. I didn't want to acknowledge it. Because if I did, I would have to deal with it and I didn't want to. Didn't know if I had the energy or wisdom to deal with it. And of course, that just added to the irritable, 'blah' feeling--what a nasty cycle! Have you ever been in that place?

I was actually driving when I was going through this and I just felt the Lord on my shoulder whispering into my heart, "Give it to Me." "But Lord, it really isn't all that bad. Comparing my feelings with what is going on with the rest of the world, I really shouldn't be complaining. You have blessed me so much." "Give it to Me." "But I am suppose to be grateful and praise You in all things. I shouldn't be whining. What must You think of me?" "Give it to Me." "But I don't want to be codependent on others reactions to me. I should suck it up and just be who I am and let them be who they are and not worry about how full or empty my love cup is. I am the one who is making this a problem. Not You or them." "Give it to Me." Do you ever have these types of conversations with Him?

And then He gave me a vision. 

The vision was the above verse. It's when Jesus was in the garden. I felt like God showing that even before the cross, He allowed Jesus to feel the same things as He knew we would. If you read verse 37 & 38, Jesus' spirit began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed--So much so, that He even shared it with Peter and the two sons of Zebedee. Don't get me wrong--I am not even comparing my emotions to the depth of what Jesus was feeling or the subject of those feelings--but I did feel that God was showing me that He even had Jesus share His feelings with those He trusted around Him--He didn't just keep them to Himself. And then in verse 39, Jesus shared those feelings with His Father. Jesus was REAL with His Heavenly Father. So it is what He wants--He wants to BE in our lives--not just on the outskirts. He wants us to be REAL. Do you see that? Can you acknowledge and receive that truth?

So please, don't let Satan or anyone talk you into the lie that you have to receive everything in your life with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. There will be times, as I have experienced, that you just need to be REAL with your Heavenly Father and spill out your guts--and accept that fact that it may not be all pretty and sweet smelling when you do. But God WANTS you to share it with Him. Because, to be honest, until you do, you will be crippled emotionally and spiritually. Why? Because you are stuffing it and whatever you stuff--God can't touch it. He will only take care of things that you give Him. So seriously, give whatever it is that is gnawing on you, to Him. He will receive it so gladly and take care of it much better than you ever could.

One quick side note--what about those times when we have to go back a second time and give the same issue to Him--is that acceptable? Look at verse 42:
 42 Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.” 

Jesus shared not only once, but twice in this case, the same request, the same issue! Wow! Doesn't that give you the freedom to do the same? Our God is an AWESOME God! Praise Him today!

Dear Lord Jesus,

I just praise You! I praise that I am the child of such an awesome Father. I thank you for being the type of father that wants to be in my life--totally. That my feelings, no matter how little and childish they seem to me, are so important to you. That you will stop everything you are doing just to listen to me. 

Thank you for giving me examples in your word that gives me permission and vision to be real with you. That even though the world may think that I am unimportant, to you, I am the most important person in your life.

Thank you that in your grace, when I do allow you into my life and share all things with you--the good, the bad & the ugly--I feel such a sense of peace and wholeness.

Please teach me to be more real with you every minute of every day. Please touch my spirit when I am not so that I can be more aware and follow through with your promptings.

I love you God. Thank you for everything.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Phony Baloney!!

‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth,
And honor Me with their lips,
But their heart is far from Me.'

Matthew 15:8 NKJV

The other day, my friend asked me to read Matthew 15:1-20 and give my interpretation of it. Well, when you read the whole passage, there are many facets in it and at the time, I gave him what came to me. But since then, I have been pondering on what I had read and the above verse keeps coming to my heart.

The reason being is that I think that especially during this week of Passion, we should be preparing our hearts and spirits for the extremely personal gift that Jesus gave to us. He is reminding me of this fact--many people, including myself at times--worry more about what is on the outside, and neglect to take care of the inside.

Take myself for example. I have a codependent addiction. In order to feel worthy, or good about myself, I need to have other people like me. I don't want to have people mad at me or disappointed. I don't want rejection. Not so bad right? It's better than being codependent to drugs or alcohol right? Well, just as sin is sin, addiction is addiction.

But what makes me feel like the above verse is speaking to me is because even though I love my God more than life itself, I allow myself to get into the codependent trap. I am on the outside trying to be and look and say all the right things that will make those around me to like me, to want to be around me. But inside, I am dying because I am not being what and who God created me to be. I could go do something just to please that person, even though my spirit is telling me that God isn't pleased. To make it worst, I may even be holding resentment in my heart and spirit towards those people because I feel judged by them or feel less than, whatever.

The same can be said about our relationship with God. Are we just going to through the motions--saying the right words, doing the right things--yet our hearts aren't in it?

What about you? Do you find that your walk with God is dry? Do find yourself saying the things that you know you should say, pray the prayer that you feel is the right prayer that others will admire? Attend the Bible study you feel you are expected to attend? Serve in the ministry that someone else said you should? Yet, your God feels even further away than ever! What is going on?!

Stop! Right now, stop "doing" church! Stop "doing" faith and start "being"! Be in a healthy relationship with your God. Be focusing on what is happening in your heart and spirit. Be in tune with what God is telling you. Be in those quiet moments with Him. Be in the Word. Be in prayer.

It is good to serve, attend Bible studies, etc. But it is better to have the inside--heart and spirit--primed and filled and secured with His love and the knowledge of who you are in Him--first. Then go do.

You see, God had planted good friends around me to let me know that I was loved but I had an addiction and I needed to fix it. Because, really, even though we think that we are looking good and everything on the outside--truth be told--we aren't. And so I took wise counsel and joined a Celebrate Recovery 12-Step Program for co-dependency and learned God's way of controlling my issues. And now, most days, I have the tools to keep those issues at bay. 

The same can be for you. If you find that you just can't be real with God and yourself, find some help. Maybe there is a Celebrate Recovery Program in your area. Maybe you can make an appointment with your pastor or a good and grounded Christian friend that can mentor to you and hold you accountable. Just pray and give it to God and ask Him to guide you on how to work this out. He wil.

In the end, all God truly wants is your heart. ALL of it. The rest of whatever comes is just icing on His cake. We are the ones that make it phony and difficult. After all, He loves us with an everlasting love.

Dear Jesus,

I praise you for being you. I praise you for your grace towards me and my shortcomings. The funny thing is that even though I see them as shortcomings, I don't think you even see them at all. That is where your grace comes in.

Please forgive me for the times that I am more concerned about how I appear to the world than how I appear to you. Please forgive me for those times when I am phony to you. I say what I think you want me to say or I praise you for something, but in my heart, I know I am holding a grudge against you or there is doubt. You deserve so much more than that. 

Please hold me accountable to my role as your child and your child only. Please bring to my spirit, those things that I need to change or get rid of that are not of or from you. Please help me to have a renewed desire to be in true relationship with you. In your precious name, Amen

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

In a Perfect World...

But as it is written:
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.
But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit.” 
                                     1 Corinthians 2:9-10 NKJV

There is a belief that if you give yourself to Christ, life is all good and you will not ever have to worry or be sad, scared or lonely again. That all your problems will go away and you will live the perfect life, with the perfect you and nothing bad or distasteful will happen in your life again...WRONG!

God never promised us a perfect life. He never promised us a perfect us. He never promised us a carefree anything. What God promised us when we accept Him into our hearts is that He will love us perfectly. That we will never be alone. That He will never forsake us or leave us. That He will always be there for us during the good times and the bad. That nothing is ever wasted.

I don't know about you, but that comforts me. It comforts me that when I feel alone, hurt or scared--that I have Him to cover me. It comforts me that He tells me that "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God." Romans 8:28 Does it you?

So when I read the above passage, and I see that, "the things which God has prepared for those who love Him"--I get a sense that even though "the things" that I am experiencing--which may not be all rainbows and sunshine--"God has prepared" the way for me to come through the other side successfully, stronger and wiser. And in that thought, as I am typing, He revealed to me that even if I don't feel like it is true--He has also prepared me. He has prepared me by revealing such truths--His truths--to my spirit from His Spirit. So hopefully, instead of just physically "getting through" the situation, the emotion--I am being trained by His precious love for me--to get through it stronger and more confidentially spiritually. Wow!

What do you see? When you read the above passages, what does God reveal to you? Maybe at this time, He isn't revealing a truth for you, but He is wanting you to remember this verse for the time when He has you in the spot that He wants you to remember His great love for you and in that great love, you will be in spots of rainbows and sunshine, but you will also be in spots testing and trials. And when you are, 1 Corinthians 2:9-10 is a wonderful one to call upon and rest in.

Dear Loving God,

I just want to take a moment to praise you and to thank you for being my God, my Father, my Rock. I thank you for the rainbows and the sunshine you bring into my life. But I also thank you for bringing the rains and showers. It is not always easy to say that but as I go deeper and deeper into your word, I see that I need both in order to be the child you created me to be. You are my God and I am your child and I thank you for the trust I can have in you, that I can always believe in. 

And I ask for forgiveness for those times when I forget and I complain and I may even curse you because in my hurt, I want to hurt you because I think that I am hurting because you have abandoned me or that you are enjoying my pain. I know that you are totally opposite. You are precious to me and I know that I am precious to you and that is all I need to know and I can rest confidentially in that truth. Amen.


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Stormy Weather

" Now it happened, on a certain day, that He got into a boat with His disciples. And He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.” And they launched out.  But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy.  And they came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!”
Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm.  But He said to them, “Where is your faith?”
And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, “Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him!” 
Luke 8:22-25 NKJV

I read this the other day and was both challenged, and encouraged. The challenge comes in terms of my belief system. Just because I'm following Jesus is it smooth sailing? The encouragement is in the answer, no, but He is always good and in control. In control, if I'm in the boat with Him.

Lets look at this; Jesus gets in the boat and tells the disciples to get in with Him. He directs their course, and then rests. They are in the safest place on earth! They are in the boat with Jesus. Yet, even though they are with Him, and obeying Him, they get hit with a major life threatening storm. They cry out, and Jesus rescues them by exercising His sovereignty over the power of nature. Did they really need rescuing? Were they really in danger? After all, they were with Jesus. 

We should not be surprised that, when we follow Jesus, we get hit with the storms of life. Storms of sickness, fiances, relationships, sin, you name it. But if we are in the boat with Jesus even though we go through the storms, are we not really in a safe haven?

There are three keys to success in going through the storms of life that I want to point out. First, get in the boat with Jesus. Receive His invitation to enter into a life giving relationship. Second, stay in the boat with Him by staying in His Presence. Be filled with His Spirit, His Word, His people, worship, and service. Third, exercise the faith He has given you. I would add one more key; be thankful!

I really needed to receive this good news the other day. Like many of us, I'm facing a storm. Its good to know Who I'm in the boat with. Even the storm is no match for Him!

So, get in the boat with Jesus and don't be shocked when the storms of life come your way. You are in the safest place possible!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

How Will You Be Remembered?

" And being in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper, as He sat at the table, a woman came having an alabaster flask of very costly oil of spikenard. Then she broke the flask and poured it on His head. But there were some who were indignant among themselves, and said, “Why was this fragrant oil wasted? For it might have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they criticized her sharply.
But Jesus said, “Let her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a good work for Me.For you have the poor with you always, and whenever you wish you may do them good; but Me you do not have always. She has done what she could. She has come beforehand to anoint My body for burial. Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her.” Mark 14:3-9 NKJV

This account from scripture really speaks to me. It speaks of value systems, love, commitment, and, the heart of God. The woman in scripture is Mary, a friend of Jesus. The Alabaster jar and oil were extremely expensive. Mary poured out what was precious and of great value to her upon Jesus. When I read this passage I think of our lives. What is precious to us that we are pouring out for Jesus? 

People devote their entire lives to Jesus, and to many, including those in the Church, they are wasting their lives  away. I just came back from North Africa where I saw single men and women, who were devoting there lives to see the Bible translated into native tongues. I saw families living in conditions that were very difficult. They do this because they love Jesus, and want to share the living hope of Christ to a world that is in dire need of the Good News. To many this seems like a waste of life. You don't have to go to a distant country to pour out your life for Christ. Wherever you are is an opportunity to give your all for Jesus. Mary gave her all as a response to the love of Christ in her life. So can you.  Mary was considered a fool by many for giving her all for Jesus. And so will you. But Jesus treasured her love. He will for you. Jesus said that wherever people hear the Good News of salvation, they will hear about what Mary did for Him.

There is another person in this account that we should look at, his name is Judas. He is also remembered wherever the Good News is shared. If fact, his name is synonymous with being a traitor, a back stabber. Whereas Mary, gave her all to Jesus, Judas sold out Jesus for a few dollars. 

Two people, both close to Jesus. Both remembered for to completely different reasons. One for love and devotion, the other for selling out his friend.

How will you be remembered?

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Soul Exploding!!

"16 I ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves,17 and I pray that Christ will make his home in your hearts through faith. I pray that you may have your roots and foundation in love, 18 so that you, together with all God's people, may have the power to understand how broad and long, how high and deep, is Christ's love. 19 Yes, may you come to know his love—although it can never be fully known—and so be completely filled with the very nature of God." Ephesians 3:14-19 GNT

There is so much in these verses, but I feel that the Lord just wants to us to keep it simple.

Read these verses, one at a time and really pray over what God wants to reveal to you and for you to receive. I say this because when I read it all at once, I get so many promises and information that I can't really receive it all--because it is so big and soul exploding!

As you read, what are you receiving? For me, the common thread is love. That my heavenly Father loves me so much that I can't really wrap my emotions, faith or brain around it. I keep saying to myself, "But I'm a sinner. I fall short all the time. I don't deserve this type of love." And then, if I was to be truly honest, I can find myself thinking, "Yes, I can receive this love, but what if I get all used to it and then He whips it away from me? What then? Can I truly trust in this love? People on this earth love me and then all of a sudden it seems, they take it away--what if God's this way too?"

But these verses are also about faith and faith is believing even if you don't see. Faith is doing something even in fear, if your God is telling you that should. So, if I was to simplify these verses for God's gift to me, it would be this: I can be loved and receive His love on the faith that He is true to His word. And it is not anything that I can earn or un-earn. It just is. And with that love, faith and the holy spirit inside me, I can be as bold and courageous as God created me to be. And I have to do some housecleaning--in this case, I need to take that hot, soapy water and Brillo pad and scrub my old thought pattern--old hurt--away. I can't receive my new thought pattern if my old one still has it's grip on me--do you see?

How about you? What was spoken was for me, but God may be speaking something different to you. And again, truly search your spirit when you read these verses one by one so that you can receive the whole gift that God has waiting for you to receive and to own. Be prepared for the possibility that you may have to do some "housecleaning"--clean out that old hurt, habit or hang-up--in order to fully receive your gift. That may be a little messy but so well worth it in the end.

And then watch out!! You may find that your heart, mind and soul will soon be exploding all over the place! 

 "20 To him who by means of his power working in us is able to do so much more than we can ever ask for, or even think of:21 to God be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21 GNT

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


"Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." Colossians 3:15-17 The Message

When you read these verses, what speaks to you? What pops out of the page?

What pops out at me is these three things: peace, thankfulness and "sing, sing your hearts out to God."

If you are like me, I can--at times--focus on the negative. Oh, I see the good, and I appreciate it so much. But then when a negative comes--bang!--good is all gone and all I see is negative. And then I am stuck there--usually too long. Because even if a good thing comes along, it can get colored by the bad thing that just left or that I am still stuck in. So, I can't really appreciate the good. Can you relate?

So, when I read these verses, I love the whole message that Paul is promoting. But for me personally, the "cultivate thankfulness" and "sing, sing your hearts out to God" means so much at this time of my walk. It reminds me that I need to be thankful for ALL that is happening in my life. That I need to sing, sing my heart praises out to God. If I truly believe that my God has my best interest at heart and that He is in control of ALL things--then good or bad--I need to sing praises and be thankful! And I have been trying that concept for the past couple of weeks and do you know what? It has helped. When something happens, I praise Him for either the blessing, if it is a pleasant thing, which of course is easy. But I have also try to genuinely thank Him for the pruning or lesson learned--when it is not so pleasant--which is hard. Yet, when I do it, I can honestly say that I truly do feel the sting go out of the unpleasant thing--and that is such a peaceful feeling.

What about you? What can these verses teach you? Or what is it that God wants you to glean from these words? There's many life/faith issues here. Do you need to spend more time with the Lord? "
Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives." Do you need to allow others to speak into your life or is God prompting you to speak into someone else's life? "Instruct and direct one another using good common sense." Do you need to make amends with someone but you have been procrastinating? "Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other." Do you need to make sure that you're living out your faith? "Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." 

I challenge you this week to read these verses every day and then pray over them. Ask your Heavenly Father to reveal to you what He wants for you. Pray also that He reveal to you what you need to change, let go, etc, in your life, heart, mind--in order to be able to receive this new truth. Because you can't keep getting good stuff and stick it in with the old stuff that is not good. There's not enough room and of course, it's not healthy. 

What an exciting time this will be for you! 

OK! Enough talking--get going!